Thoughts on TITANIC

So... Yesterday, as I was home trying to get better from a cold or a flu or something, I decided to watch Titanic considering I haven't seen it in almost 10 years. I noticed things that I didn't notice when I was younger. I've taken the liberty of taking down notes on the film. Enjoy:

- Rose is a cock blocker! She's a stubborn woman who won't give others the benefit of the doubt.

- Jack is a home wrecker! Bros before hoes Jack! You never jump on a girl when another man has already called dibs!

- Cal is only angry cause of sexual stress. There's a scene where he even says she refuses to have sex with him. The guy has blue balls! And any guy will back him up, you're not the same when you have blue balls.

- Pearl Harbour tried to be just like Titanic. Look Pearl, we don't need another love story tied into an cataclysmic epic. Alright?

- They would have made more money if they split the film. One half love story, the other awesome sinking action! And you know it. Have a 6 month gap in between each film and it would've made a killing.

- Cal is like 30 while Rose is supposedly 17, meaning Cal's a pervert!

- Jack was going to die anyway; After the sex, Rose says to Jack that he's shaking. He says he'll be alright. He obviously has some sort of disease or sickness and in those times, the only remedy was death.

- Cal is really a good guy for adopting that kid. She was all alone. And he answered and saved her. That takes heart. That takes courage. He's the real hero of this story.

-Captain goes deaf halfway through the sink. Watch him. A few people walk up to him and he doesn't respond. Only diagnosis: BITCH GON' DEAF!

- The googenheim is gay with his Cuban boyfriend. Watch it again, you'll see what I mean.

- The Admiral was a great inspiration to the good guy's of the world! Twice he tried to help Rose. The first is when Jack and Rose escape from the E-Deck and their kinda lost. And the admiral has like these two woman on his arms the entire time! So he tries to lead them to the boats, but they give him the finger and run off. The second is when Rose drops onto the deck and he helps her up but the bitch doesn't say thank you!!

- No matter what language you're watching in or how you look at it; Rose DID let go. She fucking remarried and had two kids, C'MOOOOONN!!!!!

Summer Lovin'

I'm back baby!! Sorry for the delays! I've been back to work and kicking it into high gear to make up for all the days I missed, and all the fines I've built up!
It's also been hard to write on a blog when your entire office makes fun of you for having one!
"I spit on, and rape, your blog Rob! It sucks! I seriously hate you and have slept with your mom you douche!"
"Oh Aaron! Your so funny!"

Anyway, today my office went to BBQ at Binbrook Park! What? Of course I was invited! Did you think I would be sitting at home blogging about if I didn't go...well!
I did go, I don't care what you say!
I arrived at the park, as per my imagination tells me. But we (Me and my girlfriend, Mir (she does too exist!)) arrived about an hour late, but everyone else arrived 2 hours late so it worked out, kinda. We went swimming where I showed off how awesome I am by saving four to eighteen children with my superior CPR skills. Some ladies were like trying to hit on me and ask to take off my shirt (it's so I don't get burned) but I had to tell them my girlfriend was like right in front of them. I mean, those ladies were like trying to hit on me while having Mir DIRECTLY in front of them! It was crazy but she's used to it cause it happens like all the time!
Next I got my good friend Peter (he also exists) to make some sausages. And it wasn't like I didn't know how to use a grill cause my parents never let me because I had a dangerous fascination with fire! No... The sausages were a hit, considering it was a vegan BBQ, but no one asked, so I didn't tell them. I'm sure it's fine.
Next we played the classic card game; ASSHOLE. Except in this rendition, I was always Asshole. Nuts on them though, I spat in their coolers!
Next we played volleyball. I took everyone on and won. I SPIKED THAT BITCH INTO THEIR COURT! I was all like "DAMN!", and dove for the ball. Except the stupid idiots set up the net halfway over the parking lot, so they played on the grass side, and I dove onto asphalt, and badly burned the one side of my whole body. But I had a heat stroke anyway and had to go to the hospital so it all worked out. 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1!!!

OH YEAH! I challenge anyone who reads this to make fun of my blog. No really! Just leave a comment, your name, address, and a list of fears.

Well, I'm gonna go back to my Star Wars marathon I was watching. Coming up next; Episode 4 bitches!! Yeah!