Thoughts on TITANIC

So... Yesterday, as I was home trying to get better from a cold or a flu or something, I decided to watch Titanic considering I haven't seen it in almost 10 years. I noticed things that I didn't notice when I was younger. I've taken the liberty of taking down notes on the film. Enjoy:

- Rose is a cock blocker! She's a stubborn woman who won't give others the benefit of the doubt.

- Jack is a home wrecker! Bros before hoes Jack! You never jump on a girl when another man has already called dibs!

- Cal is only angry cause of sexual stress. There's a scene where he even says she refuses to have sex with him. The guy has blue balls! And any guy will back him up, you're not the same when you have blue balls.

- Pearl Harbour tried to be just like Titanic. Look Pearl, we don't need another love story tied into an cataclysmic epic. Alright?

- They would have made more money if they split the film. One half love story, the other awesome sinking action! And you know it. Have a 6 month gap in between each film and it would've made a killing.

- Cal is like 30 while Rose is supposedly 17, meaning Cal's a pervert!

- Jack was going to die anyway; After the sex, Rose says to Jack that he's shaking. He says he'll be alright. He obviously has some sort of disease or sickness and in those times, the only remedy was death.

- Cal is really a good guy for adopting that kid. She was all alone. And he answered and saved her. That takes heart. That takes courage. He's the real hero of this story.

-Captain goes deaf halfway through the sink. Watch him. A few people walk up to him and he doesn't respond. Only diagnosis: BITCH GON' DEAF!

- The googenheim is gay with his Cuban boyfriend. Watch it again, you'll see what I mean.

- The Admiral was a great inspiration to the good guy's of the world! Twice he tried to help Rose. The first is when Jack and Rose escape from the E-Deck and their kinda lost. And the admiral has like these two woman on his arms the entire time! So he tries to lead them to the boats, but they give him the finger and run off. The second is when Rose drops onto the deck and he helps her up but the bitch doesn't say thank you!!

- No matter what language you're watching in or how you look at it; Rose DID let go. She fucking remarried and had two kids, C'MOOOOONN!!!!!

Summer Lovin'

I'm back baby!! Sorry for the delays! I've been back to work and kicking it into high gear to make up for all the days I missed, and all the fines I've built up!
It's also been hard to write on a blog when your entire office makes fun of you for having one!
"I spit on, and rape, your blog Rob! It sucks! I seriously hate you and have slept with your mom you douche!"
"Oh Aaron! Your so funny!"

Anyway, today my office went to BBQ at Binbrook Park! What? Of course I was invited! Did you think I would be sitting at home blogging about if I didn't go...well!
I did go, I don't care what you say!
I arrived at the park, as per my imagination tells me. But we (Me and my girlfriend, Mir (she does too exist!)) arrived about an hour late, but everyone else arrived 2 hours late so it worked out, kinda. We went swimming where I showed off how awesome I am by saving four to eighteen children with my superior CPR skills. Some ladies were like trying to hit on me and ask to take off my shirt (it's so I don't get burned) but I had to tell them my girlfriend was like right in front of them. I mean, those ladies were like trying to hit on me while having Mir DIRECTLY in front of them! It was crazy but she's used to it cause it happens like all the time!
Next I got my good friend Peter (he also exists) to make some sausages. And it wasn't like I didn't know how to use a grill cause my parents never let me because I had a dangerous fascination with fire! No... The sausages were a hit, considering it was a vegan BBQ, but no one asked, so I didn't tell them. I'm sure it's fine.
Next we played the classic card game; ASSHOLE. Except in this rendition, I was always Asshole. Nuts on them though, I spat in their coolers!
Next we played volleyball. I took everyone on and won. I SPIKED THAT BITCH INTO THEIR COURT! I was all like "DAMN!", and dove for the ball. Except the stupid idiots set up the net halfway over the parking lot, so they played on the grass side, and I dove onto asphalt, and badly burned the one side of my whole body. But I had a heat stroke anyway and had to go to the hospital so it all worked out. 2 FOR THE PRICE OF 1!!!

OH YEAH! I challenge anyone who reads this to make fun of my blog. No really! Just leave a comment, your name, address, and a list of fears.

Well, I'm gonna go back to my Star Wars marathon I was watching. Coming up next; Episode 4 bitches!! Yeah!

Rating: DINNER WITH SCHMUCKS

Hello my friends, hello...

I know it's been a while since my last posting. I've been moving into my new apartment. Photos later to come.

I recently saw a new film a few nights ago called DINNER WITH SCHMUCKS starring PAUL RUDD and STEVE CARELL.

First off, I have to say that this movie was funny. It wasn't like those fucking MICHAEL CERA films where all the funny shit is in the previews. Like SUPERBAD! Oh my fucking god, SUPERBAD! If you were to put all the trailers in one long sequence, it'd be the funniest movie of all time, because its all the funny shit from that movie. I think I'm the only person in North America that couldn't stand SUPERBAD. Although I did find it funny, it was just all the funny shit from the trailers. The trailers are suppose to give you a taste of what's to come, NOT FUCKING GIVE AWAY THE ENTIRE GOOD SHIT. You don't get a taste of the entree, then pay for the FUCKING DRINK AT THE SAME PRICE AS THE ENTREE!?!?! This simple, yet innocent act, cheats people out of their money every time a new film comes out. They entice you; making you think that there's more to the movie than the trailer provided, so when you go to the movie theatre, pay for the film, and as your watching the film; your brain is no longer interested in the funny bits, but the build up and the chaos that follows. Which usually is not very entertaining. It's a cheap shot, and there's no way to know if a movie is doing this unless you go and PAY FOR THE FUCKING FILM!

DINNER WITH SCHMUCKS didn't do that. They're trailers actually gave you a hint of the funny, and then delivered that to the audiences...with double cheese.

Oh man! I want double cheese, brooklyn style pepperonis right about now!

Okay, time to wrap this up!

STEVE CARELL seemed like he was trying way to hard to be stupid, but it worked. Don't ask me how.

PAUL RUDD played his usual character; Normal guy with little intentions and no ego.

And the movie was funny. But not memorable funny. After two days from seeing it, I can't really recall any memorably hilarious quotes from the movie to share with my office coworkers so we can have a gallant chuckle over. Not like SUPERBAD at least.

Review: SALT

To start off, I just want to say that action movies can be good, if they're done right. And by right, I mean good. There's some movies out there that just have explosions and unrealistic fight scenes and it makes the movie extremely unbelievable. A movie should make a person get away and become swept up in the film, not wake up when something stupid, or physics defying, pops up.
Now that I started it with that statement, I can comfortably say this: SALT wasn't one of those films. SALT was actually a descent film that had a plot. The movie reminded me alot of EAGLE EYE with curves and twists in the story and a final acceptance at the halfway point of the film. And at one point in the film, JOLIE was dressed to look like a SHIA LABEOF with a bad speech impediment.
Unlike EAGLE EYE, SALT relies on the media hype to further entice the audience. It's downfall is the previews. Every single preview has the same fucking scenes in it, it's just cut differently so you wouldn't notice. It pisses me off because all the good stuff is in the previews. Don't get me wrong, it was still good. There was a few times I looked over to my girlfriend and nodded in appreciation of the effect or JOLIE's stunt double's kick or punch.

A nice note: ANGELINA JOLIE's stunt double's name is EUNICE.

I hate how the previews give away all the good stuff. But I hate it more when there are exclusive clips in the trailer that are cut from the final film! It's annoying. There were a few scenes in the SALT trailers, ALL TRAILERS, that were excluded from the film and that bothered me.


SPOILER HIGH-LIGHT TO REVEAL: There was no sexy JOLIE sex scene in this movie like the trailer suggests. Not like I solely went to see the film just for a small glimpse of JOLIE's side boob. That's absurd!


Other than everything I put in; I suggest to see it. It's an interesting movie that leaves you guessing only half-way through the film, until you realize what's going on cause it's kinda obvious, but you still stay in the theatre because you wanna see how it turns out....and because you still have some popcorn left.

"Hello, I'm a MAC"

A debate that will most likely go on to the end of the universe and beyond. PC or MAC?

I have been a PC for over teen years of my life. I received my first PC when I was 8 and thought everything of it. I thought I could move mountains using the PC if I had the knowledge to utilize it. I soon found afterwards that the PC is a complex device that takes years of degrees to understand and to actually utilize it to its full potential.

In 2008, I worked on my first MAC. Within weeks after first working on one, I bought one because I loved it so much. My PC at the time needed to be upgraded with all the latest software, video cards, memory etc. So I just decided to replace it for a brand new iMAC.

Over the next two years of school, I worked more and more on a MAC and it soon dwelled on me. A MAC is so much better than a PC! But unlike some undergraduate sibling of a rich oil tycoon; I questioned  why.

In theory, a MAC has the same units and hardware in a PC, so why does a MAC utilize them so well? I decided to do some research around the web and find out both sides of the debate.

It seems that the debate is simple; MAC users believe that MAC is simplistic while PC is complex, and vice versa. From a technical aspect, they're both correct.

Within the debate, it comes down to media advertisement. MAC commercials talk about being sleek, cool, hip, fresh, and sexy. While PC commercials talk about getting the job done now and correctly.

A MAC can get a job done just as fast, and a PC can be cool and fresh.

Some PC users will argue that a MAC is just too much of a change and its far too confusing to understand. True. Being a PC user for most of my life now, I can understand and even co-exist with their logic; a MAC was difficult to use for the first time and it did confuse me. But the same could be said about the PC. Kids are learning about computers at a young age. Right now, kids, ages approximately 6-10, are going into a computer class, full of PCs, and learning the basics. At a young age, when the brain is most malleable for learning, using a PC up to a young adult, it would seem that the PC is easier. And a reason why young adults are so head strong against MACs would be because its simplistic to think that "If my school board wants me to learn basics of a computer, they would choose the easiest component software." But that just comes down to price.

A MAC is not hard to understand. It's actually exceptionally easy. I picked it up in an hour.

After receiving my MAC, I played around with everything for an hour, and what would have taken me years to learn on a PC; I learned in an hour. My family now considers me a guru for the MAC and come to me for advice when buying new APPLE products.

What the debate comes down to is just personal preference.

I'm not pushing the MAC on anyone. I'm simply just putting my two cents in on the debate. And I hope that maybe I can turn an eye of a PC user.

In conclusion; there's nothing wrong with a PC, they're just a BITCH to take care of.

And So it begins

The first post to the blog is probably the hardest to come up with. Like a film's first scene, the first post sets a tone for the blog. Either that or the next, most current, edition does. Anyway... I decided to start this blog when I realized that it would probably help my writing. You see; I'm a writer. Now doesn't that just sound odd? No, I'm not a writer. 

Not a successful one anyway.

That sounds harsh... I don't make money off of my writing... That sounds better.

And it's not because I choose not to. Trust me, any writer you find that says that they only write for the readers, what they really mean is: "I can't find a reader that's interested in my stuff long enough to invest their money into it." I love to write, I've always have since I could begin to read. I'm an unsuccessful writer because I have lost my inspiration to write. 

I'm nine chapters away from finishing my first novel titled; 'War's Fury". Sounds horrible doesn't it? It gets better... I think.

Everything is in my head! I know exactly what happens and as soon as I can get the will to write; I'll finish it and send it off to a publisher (If they'll take me). 

I also have another passion. I love films! NOT LOVE FILMS, like porn. I mean I love to watch movies. NOT PORN, you pervert. Stop thinking about porn! 

I recently graduated from Mohawk College, in Hamilton, for Television Broadcasting and I am slowly trying to trudge my way to making films one day. Until then, I see a movie almost every week. I try to see every movie that comes out, but we can't all be millionaires. popcorn is expensive.

Everytime I see a movie, I'll post my five favourite up on the side here. The last movie I saw was INCEPTION. More on that later...

I work as a video editor right now, using After Effects and Final Cut so I have the skills needed, and the knowledge, but I just need to work my way up, you know? Of course you do.