Thoughts on TITANIC

So... Yesterday, as I was home trying to get better from a cold or a flu or something, I decided to watch Titanic considering I haven't seen it in almost 10 years. I noticed things that I didn't notice when I was younger. I've taken the liberty of taking down notes on the film. Enjoy:

- Rose is a cock blocker! She's a stubborn woman who won't give others the benefit of the doubt.

- Jack is a home wrecker! Bros before hoes Jack! You never jump on a girl when another man has already called dibs!

- Cal is only angry cause of sexual stress. There's a scene where he even says she refuses to have sex with him. The guy has blue balls! And any guy will back him up, you're not the same when you have blue balls.

- Pearl Harbour tried to be just like Titanic. Look Pearl, we don't need another love story tied into an cataclysmic epic. Alright?

- They would have made more money if they split the film. One half love story, the other awesome sinking action! And you know it. Have a 6 month gap in between each film and it would've made a killing.

- Cal is like 30 while Rose is supposedly 17, meaning Cal's a pervert!

- Jack was going to die anyway; After the sex, Rose says to Jack that he's shaking. He says he'll be alright. He obviously has some sort of disease or sickness and in those times, the only remedy was death.

- Cal is really a good guy for adopting that kid. She was all alone. And he answered and saved her. That takes heart. That takes courage. He's the real hero of this story.

-Captain goes deaf halfway through the sink. Watch him. A few people walk up to him and he doesn't respond. Only diagnosis: BITCH GON' DEAF!

- The googenheim is gay with his Cuban boyfriend. Watch it again, you'll see what I mean.

- The Admiral was a great inspiration to the good guy's of the world! Twice he tried to help Rose. The first is when Jack and Rose escape from the E-Deck and their kinda lost. And the admiral has like these two woman on his arms the entire time! So he tries to lead them to the boats, but they give him the finger and run off. The second is when Rose drops onto the deck and he helps her up but the bitch doesn't say thank you!!

- No matter what language you're watching in or how you look at it; Rose DID let go. She fucking remarried and had two kids, C'MOOOOONN!!!!!